How do you know what the future will bring? I believe that prognostication is the result of an internal calculator that runs the math for all life’s possibilities. The better the calculator, the more accurate one is at taking advantage of some opportunity. But beyond the potential to grasp possibility for great opportunity, one can also see the metaphorical train coming down the track. In many ways, in a society that is hyper focused on safety, it is easier to see dangerous possibilities. It is far easier to spot these things after one becomes a parent and becomes more deeply involved in the actuary of child safety.
For some reason, be it inexperience or machismo, young men are especially prone to ignoring their internal calculator at key moments in their life. Every day the news tells the stories of the premature death of young men and women who seem externally to be so short sighted and unwise as to evoke disdain. What is it that could drive these people to do things that belie even the most basic level of common sense? And beyond that, are there those who never allow themselves to engage in dangerous situation with very little return? I think the answer to these two questions are related.
For reasons as varied as peer pressure, the need to fit in, avoiding humiliation, impressing females or the simple thrill of danger I have had many moments in my life that could have easily ended in an obituary in the local news and the disdain from people familiar with the level of stupidity it took to engage in such activity. Even more, I cannot think of any of my peers growing up who did not engage themselves in activity that could have ended the same way. Our group was lucky enough not to suffer any casualties, but I would chalk that up to something more along the line of randomness than wisdom or skill.
What skills and knowledge should I have had to gain the things I wanted without allowing exposure to the potential for an early death?
Consider the few items previously mentioned. First, it would be impossible as a human being to shed the need to fit in, and I don’t think a comprehensive understanding of peer pressure occurs, at least not with the people I knew, until later in life. Second, there are also measurements that can be made with regard to the opposite sex and what sort of activities actually achieve the desired effect. Lastly, the issue of avoiding humiliation can put a person into situations in which choices seem to narrow and can become very dangerous with long lasting irreversible effect.
After consideration of these things, I would be inclined to address each topic singularly. For those that I love, some considerations should be made with regard to the release of adrenaline, impressing the opposite sex and avoiding humiliation in ways that do not involve the exposure to dangerous situations and have unnecessarily heightened risk levels.
Over the course of my years, I have found many things that give one a sense of danger. Examples might be public speaking, or an event that involves a stage of some kind. Athletic competition lends itself well to anxious moments of adrenaline filled mania. Even the competition of business can be tension filled bursts of anxious desperation. The primary point is that only the simple minded equate the bodies reaction to fight or flight impulses exclusively to high risk activity. There are many activities that allow you to simulate and practice danger, and still receive the same endorphin benefit.
Bold interaction with the opposite sex can be quite thrilling, and is actually a process that can be written down as a set of procedures. We are stuck with our specific mental and physical attributes regardless of polish, but the techniques are actually something that can be grasped and used by most people. A little research can go a long way, and this skill should not be underestimated. Indeed, this is a skill that should be acquired early. As pointed out in other essays, the selection and acquisition of a mate is a hugely undeveloped skill for most (even though permanent mate selection is not the specific topic addressed here and comes later in the process), particularly considering that it has such a significant bearing on the quality of life.
Avoiding humiliation is really a function of the peer group involved. Some groups value dangerous activity and you will find yourself engaging in very risky behavior based on the simple human desire to fit in and not be held in disdain. No human can subdue the instinctual need to fit in, so for this issue I believe it is important to have control over who is present in the peer group to which you belong. What is your perception of “cool”? My guess is that when you break it down, this attribute occurs more often than you think within most people. Even the most antisocial criminal can appear “cool”, depending on the definition. Unfortunately, most people use the cool factor as the first peer filter when several other prerequisites should be considered first. Indeed, when thinking about what attributes to list as of superior value to “cool”, my own list became so long as to become unwieldy for insertion into a short essay. Selection of peer groups is another essay unto itself, but the short version is to avoid those who are self-indulgent and consider people who are honest, will protect each other and push each other to improve.
Keep in mind, danger occurs naturally in the animal kingdom and man may be the only species to artificially infuse his life with known unnecessary risk. While it is true that one must be able to act calmly in dangerous situations, this skill can easily be developed without imperiling your earthly existence.